Poker Face

I think I'm already nicely comfortable being away from home for a long time. But I absolutely love it when I'm at the airport, whether it's the departing airport or upon arrival, because as you walk past the people around you, there's a strong air of anticipation. Anticipation of people departing and arriving, both in different kinds of emotions. Some people are looking forward to leave, some fear the future they have upon leaving and some are indifferent.

The feeling that I look forward most whenever I come home is to see and feel the changes since I left. For the past 3-4 years that I've been living away, I feel proud to see the good changes from the people I've always known, but sometimes I feel sad for missing out on some things. As much as I'd be happy returning to the arms of friends and families, there's always an empty space that still needs to be defined. Something that I've been looking out for, like a mad dog chasing its tail.

In my head, there's a shadow caressing me skin to skin when I'm in bed, as our warm breaths fill the small space between us. I never know what or who it is. But I can hear it calling my name in my sleep every night, telling me stories and reciting poems. I have faith that soon I'll be able to see the face the shadow belongs to. I can feel it making its way out. It's getting warmer.. Uh-oh.