2011 + 10

What's with our fear of the future?

I don't know how many times I've reminded myself, but I'm always anxious about what can happen in 5 years, 10 years or even the day after tomorrow. There are times that I get to feel the little victories of the war I fought with this kind of fear. During those times, expectations are met, bruises became healers to past hurt, I become wiser, things makes sense and it feels like nothing can crush me.

Since I'm out of university and now I'm in 'the streets', I have that fear again. The fear that comes for not being able to predict what the consequences of things that happen today. Even if I go through the course of time successfully, I'd still feel insecure because I know I'd lose what I currently have if I'm not careful. Why can't we travel through time and inform our past self to take the right actions so that we can have the best outcomes in the future?

We often find ourselves regretting the past.. and there's so many 'What ifs'. I'm sure many would take a better approach to their lives in the past if it can fix the problems they have today. We'd only know what to do if we know the implications of our actions. But why is it that we are not hardwired to always do our best even if we don't know our future?

I've actually just finished watching an interesting Jdrama 'Juunen ...blabla' (name's too long!) which translates to 'In 10 Years I'll Still Love You'. As always, Aya Ueto is pretty and the male lead has a cute smile. Anyway, the drama made me think about myself in 10 years. I wonder if I'll be more annoying when I'm older. Will I be married.. in 10 years? Even if i'm married (if it's such a top priority to rush into), then will I be really happy? Scares me..

So.. Should I write a letter and send it to myself who's 10 years older than I am today?