Hundred-thousands Pieces

Whenever I feel that I've got too much for my two hands to handle and felt like giving up, it reminds me of you. I remember it so well, how my heart swelled because I've got so much love to give. I cared for the little things about you, put you first in my list. You were never a part of my future, but everything I did felt like I'm doing it for my future. The future I've always imagined, has you in it.

I'm standing here in my future, surrounded by so many frustrations. I'm in a pressure cooker. I'm draped in sadness poured by all these pressure around me. It reminds me of how much I wish I could have given up sooner when things start to fall apart between us. I wanted to give up but I never did. In the end, it was you who gave me up to someone else. I never asked how exactly you felt at the time, but it seems to me that it was voluntary on your part. It took years for me to give you up, it took hundred thousands pieces of me to put everything back together again. I got up from being pulled by your quicksand, put out a challenge to the world but the frustrations I feel in pursue of that takes me back to you.

Whenever I felt I got too much to handle for my frail hands, it reminds me of you. It reminds me of how much I wanted to give up but never really did. It took hundred-thousands pieces of me to feel I'm not alone. I'm going back to missing your human touch, all over again.