10 Seconds

10, 9...
It is Monday and the rain is pouring. I woke up without having to battle my drowsiness today, because I knew I had to meet you. My breath counted my steps as I shivered in the rain on my way. As I drew closer to the place we had promised to meet at, my heart beat faster, pulling up heat to my cheeks. I was ready to put on my sweetest smile for you. I had my favourite perfume on.


8, 7...
I greeted you with a shy voice which sounded almost like a whisper. You welcomed me with your usual starry tone, which made me feel like I'm in another world. It had always amazed me that you had such a good body figure. In my eyes, you are beautiful. You wore your usual blazer, which I presume is your favourite outfit. Today must be a very important day for you to go through.

Through the thundering silence between our sentences, I realized that we never really talk much on matters that never benefited the both of us. I handed you that piece of paper which I tucked nicely inside a red folder so that it won't got soaked in the rain. We both agreed on what is written. Your signature is as important as death, for it determines the next path we're going to take but somehow it felt heavy seeing you inked it down above your name.


6,5...
I held my tears at the back of my eyes. There was a lump of sadness in my throat, but I put myself at my best strength, because I want you to remember me that way. You said, "Thank you for teaching me,". I guess there was a puzzled look on my face. "You have taught me a lot of things, you have taught me well."


4,3...
Last night, I had it all planned in my head. I scripted the things I wanted to say, the expressions I wanted to give you, the sequence of our conversation. Nothing is the same as I figured it to be. You took out a hand out of your pocket for a handshake, the last handshake. The remaining attractions we have for each other pulled us closer for a hug. That split second when my neck touches yours, it felt like there was a spark of electricity connecting us. Somehow you've become a familiar part of me that is hard to let go. In that moment, my speech froze and my limbs go numb. The light touch of our warm bodies felt like it is really the end. "I hope we keep in touch," you said.


2,1...
I stood in front of you hearing your last few words. It wasn't communication at all, because I stood there in complete silence, calmly bewildered by the mix of emotions going through me all at once. All those things that I was upset with, things that I regretted of you, things that I wanted to kill you for- all went down the spiral vacuum of this last second. I took a step back and waved goodbye. That first step away from you felt like my sins got washed away. Suddenly I wanted to forgive you for all the hurt you gave to me. My body felt lighter that I almost got swept away by the monsoon wind.


0...
10 seconds since I last saw your face. The sound of the rain hitting my umbrella made it feel like the loneliest day of my life. Realizing that I'd never see you again, once again I'm covered with regrets. I drove through the rain with a heart soaked with silent tears. I just want you to know that even though I didn't say anything to make our union last longer, I actually wanted to hug you tighter and say what I've always been meaning to say. I love you, I will remember you forever.