A Heart Divided

The thing that dreads me about leaving home for college (as of now) is missing out on things.

Each time I come back, I feel that lots of things change. The room I used to sleep in feels different, so strange that it feels like I've never lived in this house at all in my entire existence. It's weird and saddening at the same time that the place you call home or something that you're so familiar with becomes a thing strange to you. Some days I feel that this house is not mine at all, that I'm just a tourist stopping by before I run off to another destination.

Despite being a geek and lazy most of the time, I actually like doing chores in the home. Only now that I understand the philosophy of being a housewife. You do all the cleaning, cooking, and so many other chores because it's just so satisfying seeing people return home happy and comfortable after a hard day's work. Fold the laundries and put them in the correct places so that the people who are too busy to organize their things, can find their clean laundries easily without having to use more of their energy. That way, they can go to work the next day with rejuvenated spirit after getting a good rest at home. The job of keeping a household in order is indeed satisfactory, though it can be tiring and mundane after some time.

Realizing that someday I would need to settle down somewhere, I've thought ahead of my blurry future recently. I now have a career plan, which I hope would end up in Kuching at least in another 10-15 years time. I wouldn't want to settle anywhere else but here.. because I'm simply that in love with all things Sarawakian, especially that lucky someone.

I've decided that I just want to get hitched with a normal person with just enough intelligence to make me laugh (good for longevity :P), live a calm, normal life. I don't care about living in luxury because that's not what happiness really is. Of course we need money, but it certainly can't buy pure happiness being with your loved ones. Cukup duit pakei survive and belanja lebih skali skali ok lah ya.. sik perlu jak duit banyak sentiasa. So I've vowed that whatever happens, I hope I won't get too materialistic that I'd settle so far away (and for so long) just for the money that it generates.

But what's important right now is I'm actually divided whether I should do my industrial internship in Kuching (with some small E&I / electronics manufacturing company) or venture a bit far out to pursue the world of the black gold (O&G industry). It kind of affects my future a little. Hmmm.. decisions, decisions... *dup dap dup dap* =S