Bulletproof Weeks

I personally am not fond of year-ends and new years because bad things usually happen to me this time of the year.

Now lets talk about 2008. Honestly, I discover new things each year and I learn a lot. This year has been eventful I shall say, with new friendships blossoming and old ones rekindled, new adventures laid out in front of me, new opportunities for me to discover myself in a non-destructive way, new enemies to fight of, newfound feelings to fight for and all the usual life experiments. I don't know if being 20 years old makes you a responsible (and wise) adult, but I definitely am different than I have ever been. For the first time, I can feel the changes in my personality and there's so much pressure as life speed up.

I specifically did not achieve anything this year because I did not set anything in the beginning. There was this holiday camp that I went, the facilitator said if you put too much expectations to something, you're going to disappoint yourself in the end. And so I wrote my wishes, resolutions and expectations on a piece of paper, crumpled it and threw it into the bin. Hehe. I think I'm going to do the same for next year.

Last night, I got a bit insomniac and while I was trying to sleep, I suddenly worry about my age. I realized that I'm getting older and that if I want children, in the 3-4 years that's coming I'd need to grow up myself. In simpler terms; before it's too late, find a man and grow a family. Who knows how many years till the oven stops heating?? I started feeling a bit wary thinking of it, before flourishing further to thoughts of me having to stick to long-term commitments which is very scary. That's freakishly strange of me because I'm not one who would thought much about these things. Magically, only after those thoughts I was able to fall asleep. Ridiculous huh? Maybe I should take sleeping pills after this.. haha!