Tired & Uninspired

I'd go very emotional when I think about my mother. Though I have my own family here, it's just not the same. The blues keep coming back because I keep thinking of the lack of time I spend with my family over there. The pressures at work, from the workload to the people is slightly moving its claws on my emotions.

My husband and me just moved in to our new house that we bought last year. We painted the walls with new color, filled in the furnitures and all the electrical appliances for us to live comfortably. Still it just doesn't feel like a home I used to have with my parents. It's very nostalgic to think of the last two homes my husband and I had.. we used to live in an apartment, we were happy and at that time we're just starting to explore each others idiosyncrasies. I learned to cook too.. and I cook day and night and whenever I could. The apartment was very comfortable in spite the high rent we have to pay. I loved that place.. Peaceful and small, just nice to fit the both of us. The downside of the apartment was.. it took us 30 mins minimum to reach the office. It was painful to fill in the gas for the car each time we pay a visit to the petrol station.. and a visit to the petrol station would occur like twice a week!

The situation at work is slightly overwhelming, with new responsibilities being shouldered. Sometimes it's hard to hold the pressure in and with slight irritation the pressure leaks to some point of annoyance. I go from  a happy-go-lucky engineer to the dead-serious one because I hate it when things just don't get done. Naturally my workstation would never look as clever as the others and I must admit it, I'm a big mess because I pursue things on impulse whenever I remember them. I'm glad I'm also gaining a lot of trust from my peers on my ability to handle certain tasks and I take it as a compliment that they're recognizing my commitment. It's a joy to be appreciated.

News on the amount of bonus salary we're receiving this year is going on the rumour mill. Alhamdulillah, last month we had a little salary adjustment. Though I'm happy for the bonus news, whichever way the money comes, everyday is just beating me tired. I'm not sure if a vacation would give me enough rest. I don't know.. I guess a vacation is okay.