Everything you wanted

He's so good-looking when he smiles. :)

--

I lack ideas these days, as if I need a reset point to go back to being someone who would know what to do next and with so much confidence at that.

Last night, while battling insomnia, this song echoed in my head amidst the sound of cold air blowing out from the air-cond in my room. I usually detest sleeping in a cold environment, so most nights I end up curling up like a beanie bag under my comforter and warm thoughts would flood my mind while I lay awake in the dark. This is when my imaginations go wild.

It sends my breath to pick up a steady beat, further rushing blood in my veins all over my limbs so I felt much 'alive' rather than 'dead'. The main task of staying still in the dark would be to put myself in a Zen state so I can fall asleep without all the blood-rushing heartbeats but keeping the warmth of it all the same.

While this song repeat in my head, I felt a mix of sadness and joy which I could not comprehend which part of my life these feelings come from and if they'd ever be felt the same in the future. But the comfort of knowing that there was a confidence in me in the past put me to a good night sleep.

Nevertheless, a pinch of fear for what lies ahead of the future still remain when I wake up in the morning.

"I could have given you everything you wanted, everything you needed."