Imaginary Friend

When I said I had an imaginary friend when I was younger, a friend terkejut! Two of them, terkejut!

Do I look crazy to you? That's what my parents think when they heard me conversing with my imaginary friend at the back of the car, on our way to the mall. They thought of visiting the bomoh to 'heal' me. F was not a ghost, he didn't look like Casper. Mom thought I watched too many Hollywood movies.

So one friend asked, how does your imaginary friend look like? I told her, he was the same age and same height as I was. He has a very sweet smile. They laughed at me, they thought I was telling a joke. I'm not joking, he was real and I still remember his name. He helped me build my 'castle' from the wood blocks dad bought me.

It does not need a belief to have an imaginary friend. Nowadays that I'm older, I don't see him around anymore. Well, when I was a teenager I hear him singing with me when I was learning to play the guitar, but I tried too hard getting a melody out of my chord progressions that my ears are all the senses left of me.

I think and I agree (if this has been said elsewhere before), that friendship is not necessarily for a lifetime. At one time, nobody will or can help you. (but your imaginary friend will always be there for you in times of emptiness.) I miss you, F! I have so many friends, but none of them can really make me happy because we all have different problems to deal with. I'm sorry that I forgot about you.. please come back to me.

ps. Sudden thought: I don't even remember how it feels to be emotionally-dependent to a non-platonic male friend.